Ok so I have spent a lot of time in these last few weeks thinking about something. It’s constantly been spiraling around in my mind and it wasn’t until I read this article that I feel like it’s allowed to come to a stop.
In a nutshell, I’m afraid of getting through life too fast. I don’t want to be 80 and wish I would have done such-and-such or spent more time with so-and-so or enjoyed more moments of life. It becomes such a weight on me that I think it actually causes me to enjoy things less. In worrying about not savoring moments, I’m doing more worrying than savoring
So anyway, back to the article. She took the words right out of my mouth. I know I don’t have 3 kids and haven’t been a mom for a long time, but I can completely relate to what she is saying. If I had a nickel for every time I heard the following phrases, or other ones like it, I’d be rich.
“Enjoy every moment!”
“It goes by fast! Soak it In!”
“Aren’t these just the sweetest moments?”
“Don’t you just love being a mom?”
“Isn’t this just the best?”
It’s not that these moments aren’t sweet and wonderful, but they aren’t sweet and wonderful ALL of the time. And that’s just life, right? From what I’ve gathered, I don’t think you can FULLY appreciate something untill after it’s gone and behind you.
I loved being in college when I was in college, but I look back on it with a fondness I couldn’t have conjured up while I was in it. I just don’t think any of us finish something and say, “Yep, I seized every moment of that and loved every second and cherished every minute.” Mostly, we say, “Well, I did my best, there were definitely some enjoyable moments, and I learned a lot.”
Most days the mom thing is great. It’s a privilege. It’s a joy. It’s indescribably sweet. Some days it’s hard. It’s dirty. It’s repetitive. It feels simple.
But like she said, there are those Kairos moments each day that make being a mom worth it … like making my little boy smile or holding his sweet little body in my arms or feeling his fingers wrap around mine. Those times are like little pieces of heaven.
It’s not just about the job of motherhood … it’s any job. It’s anything we do in life. We’re all human. We aren’t going to love every second of life while we’re in it. We can’t beat ourselves up for that and we need to cut ourselves some slack. What we can do is try to be content with where we are and aim to live with not an unrealistically positive outlook, but a grateful one.
I recently read this article posted by a friend via Facebook. The timing was funny because it popped up when i was in one of my moments. You all know about those “moments”. The times you just take a moment and sit and reflect on your life. The moment you finally have some ALONE time to just sit and think. Start thinking of the What-Ifs, what could have been, what SHOULD have been. You overall Purpose. This article speaks volume for those moments. Very encouraging. Read on ….
Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:
1. Give up your need to always be right
There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk
Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs
about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change
Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels
Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses
Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. Give up the past
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment
This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
Thanks Aja 🙂
Doing something that makes me feel energized or that allows me to feel fulfilled and joyful is my mission each day.
Don’t misunderstand me, I have my struggles pushing through on many days and falling short on going to the gym, eating properly, getting enough rest, homework, I could go on. Through trial and error I’m learning what makes me feel at my best mentally, physically and spiritually.
If you have ever struggled with being consistency, then read on. Usually, when I have to stop doing what I know improves my life it is because I have lost focus of what fulfills me. Think about this for a minute.
Have you ever gone to the gym to workout and had the thought while leaving, ” I feel so much better”. While we all know what makes us feel better, that feeling isn’t always enough in the beginning to drive us to do what we know will serve our highest good. So you might be thinking,” How do I make self-care a habit?” Here are a few of the strategies that have worked for me lately :
*Schedule your self-care time daily. It can be 15 minutes or more but make time in your calendar for you each day.
* Identify your self-care activities. It is so much easier to schedule time when you know what activity matters most and refuels you.
* Keep it simple. Grand plans sound great but are hard to maintain. Make implementing your self-care rituals easy. You might light candles daily or take a nice bubble bath at the end of the day. Make it easy to say yes to taking care of yourself.
* Tell your family that you need them to help you and hold you accountable to take better care of yourself. Your family can help to hold you accountable.
* Divorce guilt. Self-care is as important as brushing your teeth. It makes you stronger and healthier.
– Ranisha S.
Happy 8th Month Birthday, Baby!
unknowing yet wise,
miniature yet full of heart,
have done for me
what I have spent a lifetime
trying to do for myself.
You’ve lassoed time,
drawn it in,
and placed it in a bubble
of peace and contentment,
fixed in place
neither rolling back to the past
or forward to the future.
You have given me
the gift of the present,
where I’m now suspended
with you –
the past no longer
a prickly burr
holding me back,
and the future no longer
the momentum of my daily life.
Thanks to you,
is all I need,
as long as I sit
in this bubble
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